Katykins Weblog

Happy Easter fellow bloggers. Hope everyone had a nice holiday, whether they spent it at church or watching sports. I actually made it to church today, the first time in a couple months. Then I ate an Easter meal with Matt and his family. Matt’s family is very traditional, and it’s really cute. We had ham and all the fixings, easter candy, and played scrabble.

It was a very busy weekend for me. Matt’s family came up from Worthington, so we visited with them. It was Matt and I’s two year anniversary this weekend, and I had to work two shifts. I didn’t find much time for homework, so I am hoping to catch up tonight and tommorow. Luckily I don’t work tommorow, so I have more time to accomplish things.

The Ultimate Wedding Planning Kit came today. It’s a really neat kit. There are take out folders for each category, a planning book, and planning pamphlets. The book contains comprehensive timelines, and a budget analysis. It give so many ideas and advice that are well needed at this point in time.

For the budget analyisis, it also gives the approximate percentage of what each category should cost. The timelines are fantastic and full of details. It is broken down into month by month increments.

I love this kit, and am very happy that I decided to purchase it!

I recieved that reception pricing pamphlet from the Hampton Inn. There is on slight glimmer of hope. If we decide to have the wedding on a friday, the food order minimum would change from $4000 to $3000.  The room rental fee would also go down from $2000 to $1800. These prices are still very expensive for our budget, but not entirely out of the picture.

I’m not sure if I have mentioned that my fiance is not going to working for six months in the next year. He is going to be doing a full time internship in order to be a licensed alchol and and drug counselor. I am very proud of him. This means however, that he is not going to be able to save up any money for these six months, and possibly longer because he needs to take a test afterwards that is only available three times a year.

I might take out another student loan to help cover the expenses. These decisions are stressful, and I want to be sure that I am making the right ones. I wish that I was out of college and had a job.  The average salary for the writing jobs that I am looking into is around $40,000 a year. It’s not the high, but it’s better than most jobs around this area. Once I graduate I think that if I found a job that paid this much I wouldn’t be so stressed out about having to pay back student loans. My fiance’s career field looks to be about the same.

I am coming to the realization that I am an adult. I can not tely on my father any more to manage my finances. I think this really hit me after I got engaged. My father still pays for many of my bills, including my cell-phone and car insurance. On the bright side, Matt and I will be able to combine these things. I don’t think that teenagers realize just how easy they have it. I am discovering just how easy I have had it. Even so, I’m still happy and excited for what the future holds.

I looked all over Bemidji today for a wedding planning kit. I saw one at the St. Cloud mall, but regretfully did not purchase it. So I took a step that I never do..

I shopped online.

That’s right. I went to BarnesandNobles.com, and purchased the same one that I saw in St. Cloud, The Ultimate Wedding Planning Kit.  It will be here in less than a week, and I am excited.

More news related to me engagement-I have recieved the Hampton Inn rates. It costs about 2 grand to rent the banquet, with a 4 grand minimum food purchase.
Lets do the math. I originally though that 150 would shop up to the reception, until learning that you should always count on less guests than you invite. So with a estimate of 100 guests, that is 40 dollars a plate!! 40 dollars!

I haven’t ruled it out completely, but let’s just say that we’ll be looking at different options.

Here are some possible reception spots-

• The Beaux Arts Ballroom
• The Eagles Club
• 1st Lutheran
• Bemidji Town and Country Club

The Beaux Arts Ballroom and the country club would both provide their own (probably spendy) catering. For the other options, I am looking into catering services around Bemidji, such as Luekens, Market Place, or the Hungry Bear.

I really want to get a professional photographer. So far I have two options, Image Photography and Radiant Photography.

I’ve used Image in the past, and have been happy with their service. I will be calling them tommorow to discuss the wedding package rates. I am not familiar with Radiant Photography, but their website seems to be reliable. They have locations across Minnesota, and the quality of their photos looks fantastic. Another plus is that they post their rates right on their website(I have not been encountering this a whole lot).

Our photographer choice is going to depend a lot on the price of the reception hall and catering, so I am definately not signing any contracts yet!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where my degree in Creative and Professional Writing will bring me. The job market for writers around northern Minnesota does not appear to be promising. There are a limited number of positions my future degree could get me.

• Technical Writer
• Grant Writer
• Copy Editor

I’m sure that I’m missing some, but currently these few are the ones that stand out to me. The problem is that for these positions experience is key, and that can mean more than just a degree. Companies may be hesitant to hire a fresh out of college writer writer with no experience.

This is a frustrating concept. I am going to have to plan my life around what ever job I can get. This means forcing Matt to pack up and leave once he gets settled in to his career. Luckily the job market for LADC’s is pretty good.

I think in order to have an edge up in this field I need to get my masters. As is getting a Bachelors isn’t stressful enough! There are so many questions and possibilities that keep running through my head. Should I wait to get my masters after getting some job experience, should I aply to be a grad-assistant, are my grades good enough, can I afford more college??

I’m sure these are questions that many others have thought before me and many more will continue to think long after me. My problems may not be that great. This is just life, and I am struggling to make the best choices not only for myself, but for my fiance, and the future family we may have.

I am torn between pursuing a masters right away, or waiting for a couple of years. The problem that I push to the back of my mind is that I know if I choose to wait I will never go back to college. I will start a family, I will put my career on hold, then I will go back into the job market, and then maybe twenty years from now I may get my masters.

Twenty years, however, may not be that far away…

 Hearing the other poems in our workshops has it’s ups and downs. Most all writers can’t help but feel vunerable around other poets, especially ones who seem so confident in what they are doing. I know, I may be sounding cliche here, but we really are our own worst critics. This may be one of the factors that pushes me more toward the idea of pursuing a career as an editor or a technical writer. That and the fact that I have some of my fathers ideas in me, pushing me more toward what’s “realistic”. Then again, if all writers thought this way, we wouldn’t have any books and poems to read, of movies and tv shows to watch, not to mention the enjoyment of the rest of the fine arts.

I wrote the following poem about the moral decay of todays society and how it is affecting america’s youth. I’m not sure that it flows well yet, and it may be revised a couple of more times bedore I feel comfortable with it. I think that although it is somewhat depressing it does have a positive message.

Addictions

Society weighs down-Enabling trends and behaviors, transforming creativity into hair, booze, and eyeliner. The would be activists scream for more as the pornification of our nation reaks havoc on my psyche. Overwhelmed, my scalp burns from chemicals and my eyes squint from mascara as I try to pretend that I’m not phased.
It’s a mess that I repress.
I look around to see smart women downing vodka and dreamers burning brain cells and wonder if it really matters. 
I’m drowning in this falsified world that I created for myself as I turn from my past and hesitate toward the future, wondering if I’m too jaded to change.

The week is coming to an end, and I can not wait for spring break to begin. I’m not doing anything exciting, just relaxing, and working of course, but for the most part I get to sleep in! It is sad that I won’t be able to see my fiance for the majority of the break. Being the helpful person he is, he’s agreed to watch his three little cousins for a week in Turtle River. I’m trying not to be too upset, family is family after all.

 My course work is going fairly well. I’m kind of worried that I’m not going to make it onto the Dean’s List again this semester. We’ll se how midterms go after the break. I scored a higher score on my Physical Science exam(93), and I’m almost done reading “As I Lay Dying” by Faulkner, for my American Literature class. I can’t help but feel that I’ve not been putting hundered percent into my course work, especially this last week with my engagement to Matt. It’s humerous that now that’s it’s spring break time I’m ready to buckle down.

I’m stressed for what the rest of the semester will bring. I want to do well, but sometimes I lack in motivation. I’m still not sure what my true calling is. I’ve flipped back and forth between the creative and the professional end of my major so many times that now I can’t help but second guess both of them. I look at my own creative works and think to myself, am I really good enough? I recognize my declining drive and think can I ever make it in the business world.

Either way I need to buckle down. I know I have potential, but I know that I have my mothers self-destructive tendencies. The more I get into my major, the more I realize how possible my dream of becoming a professional writer is, and the more scared I get.

Thank God for Spring Break

My birthday was amazing. Matt took me to the Chanhassen Dinner Theater. Dinner was amazing, and their was a rose and some alochol free wine waiting for us. When dinner was over he got down on one knee and proposed. I said yes! I was going to write a review of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, but I don’t remember that much of the performance. We are going to wait until next summer to get married(we’re kindof poor right now) but I’m so excited that I just want to plan it now.